There is rarely a day when I do little else but cry. But, today was one of those rare days. There were various reasons for these tears, not just one item. I’m tempted to cry again because I already wrote a post which required a lot of tweaking, but it disappeared into the Never, Never Land of WordPress.com
John left yesterday. I heard the door close at 3:00 a.m. and he used his rented car to drive to Raleigh. There, he could fly to Ft. Lauderdale and catch the flight to Cap-Haitian instead of taking the longer flight through Charlotte and missing his connecting flight to Haiti. We had a wonderful two weeks with him. But, no matter how young or old they are, your children are still your children. I’m thankful he’s safely back in Haiti, but his absence made me weepy. Miss you Son!
Yesterday, I could hardly stand for two minutes without sitting down due of a total lack of energy. Even though I haven’t had the bad reaction which I had from the first round of chemotherapy, it can be very humbling to be so tired that your strength doesn’t match the goals in your head. Today was better, but I’m still having to listen to my body and respect what it’s telling me. I studied my bridal portrait hanging on our bedroom wall today. I told my husband, ”Oh, to be 25 again. I sure wish I had her energy!” And I cried. I guess my body just needed the release.
I spent a lot of time praying today through veiled tears. But, even so, as I poured out my frustration to the Lord about these and so many other things, the prayers seemed to have a cleansing effect. I prayed for dear friends who have found themselves in what seemed to be utterly hopeless situations. My heart ached for them and I lifted them up on the altar. As I turned my attention to others and wept for them, I sensed a shift in my spirit.
A friend sent me a card this week to remind me she’s thinking of and praying for me. There was a line she wrote which seemed to literally jump out at me: ”I hope you are ”thanksliving!”, she wrote. It seems the Lord never fails to bring me back to this point of simply giving thanks for what we do have and for all that we’ve received from his hand. There is a secret to practicing the giving of thanks. The Lord takes great delight in our humbling ourselves before Him and acknowledging our gratefulness for all He’s done for us. It also takes our minds off ourselves and enables the Lord to begin a deeper work.
I sincerely thank all our readers for your earnest prayers for me. I have prayed for you too. I better stop there…..for I’ll get weepy all over again. 🙂
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